I
have this friend. Recently she lost a baby. A little while ago I got
to hang out with her and listen to her story. When she was in the
hospital a priest came to see her. I still can't believe the words
she heard.... basically he told her a 'story' of two mothers, one
giving birth to John Paul II and the other to Sadam Hussein. In
conclusion of this story she should be thankful for what happened
because she doesn't know who she would have given birth to.
I
thought about it, and realized how horribly this misrepresents who
God is. I have never lost a baby so I can't tell her that I know how
she feels. But I know, I KNOW God does. I shared Psalm 139 with her.
I told her to read it, and find the Truth for herself. God says that
if we seek we will find. I know that He can find her, I know He wants
to find her. I also know that dark places are the best places for
letting God find us, and for us to experience His care and
forgiveness. I know I don't have to do anything else. I introduced
her to Jesus, and He is attractive enough to bring her to Himself. I
pray that He would 'rain down' on her and convict her of sin. I trust
His word that He doesn't want anyone to perish.
I just spent a few weeks learning what condition this country is in. We were on roads in Poland, Slovakia, and Hungary: all countries of the former Eastern Bloc. The roads in Poland are depressing because they are virtually non-existent. Whereas in Slovakia and Hungary (and Czech, but who's counting) they have an actual highway infrastructure that works. It took us 4 hours to drive 150 km from the southern Polish border to Krakow. Then, after we came back from Hungary, I ended up in the hospital. And not just any hospital; A Learning hospital, a university hospital where the future medical establishment of this country is getting their education. The building is in horrible shape. The interiors are in horrible shape. And on the 3rd day they ran out of medication. Oh, Tim also had to bring me fork, spoon and knife so I’d have something to eat with. Tim also had to bring me toilet paper and paper towel because the hospital doesn’t provide it (unless the inspectors are paying a visit, we are told).
Then I came home only to find out that Kaleb’s hockey club was forced to raise prices because Warsaw (the capital city of a northern nation, and has a population of 2.5 mln people) has ONLY ONE ice rink and the management of this ice rink acts like a mob, they do what they want when they want it. Oh, it’s nearly 60% price increase. I am depressed. I don’t know how to live here.
We came back from great CONNECT, our staff conference. We came home revived, we came focused and hopeful for the future. We have exciting plans to launch spiritual discussion groups in a nearby pub/restaurant and…. I need God’s mercy and God’s grace to get over this very strong desire to pack and leave this country and go live somewhere where I can give my kids the best. I need to hear from God again that indeed we are meant to live here, in Warsaw, in the country currently holds the European Presidency, BUT has decrepit infrastructure, medical system, public school system, while having no programs for kids and seems to offer very little hope for the future.
After three years in Poland, in Warsaw, I am actually unpacking into the will of God. We have painted the walls in our apartment. We will be reorganizing our bedroom and kids rooms. I have bought new clothes for myself for the first time in 3 years. I feel like I am ready to start the mission. And all this because God has taken me back to the days when we were fund raising and reminded me about who He is and who He is calling me/us to be. Yes, I have been intentional about my ‘work’ here in Warsaw but now, I am also relaxed about it. It was an eye opener to hear that I might have to wait for 8 or 10 years before I see ANY results of ‘my labour’. I ceased running after projects and being obsessed with doing and talking…. Being relaxed helps me walk to the beat of His heart and see people more thru His eyes. I laugh with people more, and I cry with them more. I let people inside my walls, figuratively and literally. And amazing things are happening…. Jesus one way or another is always a part of the conversation. When I am not ‘striving’ to work FOR Him it’s easier to live my life WITH Him. I am more honest in my relationship with Him, so my relationships with people are more honest. I have arrived at the place of accepting where I am .... I have accepted “the Truth” and the “Truth” has set me free.
Hey all, she's finally here. Lucy Ann Constable born on March 15th at 12:25 CET. She weighed in at 3.2kg/7lbs. 9oz. and 50cm/20in. long. She is doing well, doctors are very pleased with her, and she sleeps and eats very well. Both mommy and daughter are scheduled to come home tomorrow (Wednesday). Labor was relatively short, and the actual birth was incredibly fast. Doctors were also admiring how Lucy had tied her umbilical chord into a knot while still in the womb. I am told she tried to take off sprinting when the pediatrician held her up for the "walking test". If she has the speed of her sister and the laid-back personality of her brother... Maja and Kaleb are both eager to meet their little sister.
Two is the number of the week. We have two children. Maja turns two years old tomorrow. She had her 2nd birthday (for family) yesterday and will have two friends over tomorrow for the "friends" birthday celebration. That makes two parties. As Maja turns two, we announced earlier this week that we are expecting again and Renata is due on March 21st. She is in her second month and the new one was measured at 2cm long. In two days we leave for our annual Staff Conference. This year it will be in Muenster, Germany. So we will only travel through two countries this year, as opposed to the 5 we did last year. And we will do the trip in two parts as Maja finds it more difficult to go for too long on the car. That's what we've been up 2. And you?
The first time I visited the prison I was scared. I was scared that the women would see judgment on my face, or that they would look at me and know that I was wondering what they did to be put in prison. I prayed on the way there: Jesus let me look at these women with YOUR eyes. Then I stood in the hallway, in front of the bars waiting for the guard to open a gate for me to come in and I felt huge compassion for these women. I saw faces of really messed up people, dressed poorly and very often toothless; and then I felt joy and privileged to be there. It was then that I was scared that I was going to spend my time there crying for these women instead of helping them. Well, God took care of that. The first visit was awesome. I met some very broken people. We have a Gypsy lady, we have ‘white-collar’ women, and we have homeless alcoholics coming to meet with me. I met all sorts of women, all of them from the fringes of society, all of them lost, all of them scared. Only now when I meet with them every week do I learn how difficult it is to break free from the lies and psychological baggage we carry around from our childhoods. God is mighty, and only He can break these chains. Most of the women there have husbands in prison too. Their children are in orphanages because they don’t have anyone else to take care of the kids.
Now, when I’m writing, I am realizing more and more how much compassion I feel for them. When I hear the stories from them directly I see how broken they are.
Last Saturday I went with a team from Kentucky to this prison to celebrate “Kids Day” for these women’s children and their families. The team brought gifts, they had a puppet show, and shared some of their life stories. We taught from Ephesians that our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against powers and authorities….Then we played with the kids and moms and dads and we laughed, forgetting that we were surrounded by bars.
It was the first time that I saw the moms in prison meeting with their kids. Most of these kids are ages 3 – 7 and some are young teens. It took me a prayer and 15 minutes to get myself ‘together’ again.
Every time I am in this prison I realize that only by God’s grace I am not there. Every time I talk to these women I am fully aware of God’s power in my life. I remember times when I abused drugs and alcohol and hung out with wrong crowd. I remember one time sleeping on the bench because I had no place to go…. It is by God’s love and grace that I have beautiful family, that I am alive and I feel such a strong desire and want to tell these women about His beauty, His love, and how He pursues us (this is my message to them: God pursues us). Oh, how much they need to be told that God cares for ragamuffins.
We pray. We study the Bible and I even had the privilege last week to witness one of these ladies accept Jesus into her life. Something happened in her because only Holy Spirit can produce tears; she cried that day during our meeting and discussion about God’s gift of Love.
I still learn to deal with my emotions when I am there. Two weeks ago I couldn’t put two sentences together because one of the women (Danka) shared her story and her journey (she is in Alcoholics Anonymous and her two kids aged 3 and 8 are in the orphanage and her boyfriend is in prison as well). I pray that God will help me balance compassion with my ability to talk to them, to study the Word with them, to help them.
-Renata
the photos below show Renata translating some teaching and a puppet play into Polish and kids playing games with their parents for Children's Day at the prison (this was the first time the organization has ever been allowed to bring cameras into the prison)
There are a lot of things going on now that the warm weather is upon us. And the last two Sundays we have done a couple of things for the very first time. Last Sunday we went to the airshow and spent some time with our good friends Luke and Marisa and their son Alex. Some some really cool stuff. Looking forward to seeing more next year (we had to leave early for church and missed the MIG-29). Yesterday though we went to a Knights' Tournament at a castle south of the city. Kaleb, of course, LOVED that. Seeing knights battle with swords and full armor, watching archers on horseback ride by only a couple of feet from us. And they had some great food. That's what I love. I'll put some photos up to our album in a bit so you can see all this stuff.
We can't believe that it is already summer again. Not that we're disappointed. It just seems as though the last school year went by way too quickly. At times it feels as though time has slowed to a crawl. The next thing you know, you are down the road 10 months and wondering where the time went. But here we are, enjoying the warm sunshine that we have been enjoying intermittently for the last month and half or more. Things are alway moving along here. We continue to "press buttons" and "whack the bushes". I am trying to be more intentional about meeting with some of the guys with greater regularity. It's hard to schedule time with most of them each week or even doing the same thing each time. But I am seeing what I can do and what kind of response I get. Renata has really found some ministerial rhythm with her two newest ventures. She's in a teaching rotation at a moms group at one of the Polish churches here AND she goes to a women's prison each Friday morning. Both of these have really breathed new life into her desire to teach and work with women. It's a gift she's always felt she had, but never had a chance to use or develop it. Now she does. Very exciting. A more detailed update is ready to go out today. So stay tuned. I'll close this catch-up post so I can get back to a regular post. (-:
