Seek and Ye Shall Find

I have this friend. Recently she lost a baby. A little while ago I got to hang out with her and listen to her story. When she was in the hospital a priest came to see her. I still can't believe the words she heard.... basically he told her a 'story' of two mothers, one giving birth to John Paul II and the other to Sadam Hussein. In conclusion of this story she should be thankful for what happened because she doesn't know who she would have given birth to.

I thought about it, and realized how horribly this misrepresents who God is. I have never lost a baby so I can't tell her that I know how she feels. But I know, I KNOW God does. I shared Psalm 139 with her. I told her to read it, and find the Truth for herself. God says that if we seek we will find. I know that He can find her, I know He wants to find her. I also know that dark places are the best places for letting God find us, and for us to experience His care and forgiveness. I know I don't have to do anything else. I introduced her to Jesus, and He is attractive enough to bring her to Himself. I pray that He would 'rain down' on her and convict her of sin. I trust His word that He doesn't want anyone to perish.

Things that make you go "grrrrrrrr...."

I just spent a few weeks learning what condition this country is in. We were on roads in Poland, Slovakia, and Hungary: all countries of the former Eastern Bloc. The roads in Poland are depressing because they are virtually non-existent. Whereas in Slovakia and Hungary (and Czech, but who's counting) they have an actual highway infrastructure that works. It took us 4 hours to drive 150 km from the southern Polish border to Krakow. Then, after we came back from Hungary, I ended up in the hospital. And not just any hospital; A Learning hospital, a university hospital where the future medical establishment of this country is getting their education. The building is in horrible shape. The interiors are in horrible shape. And on the 3^rd day they ran out of medication. Oh, Tim also had to bring me fork, spoon and knife so I’d have something to eat with. Tim also had to bring me toilet paper and paper towel because the hospital doesn’t provide it (unless the inspectors are paying a visit, we are told).

Then I came home only to find out that Kaleb’s hockey club was forced to raise prices because Warsaw (the capital city of a northern nation, and has a population of 2.5 mln people) has ONLY ONE ice rink and the management of this ice rink acts like a mob, they do what they want when they want it. Oh, it’s nearly 60% price increase. I am depressed. I don’t know how to live here.

We came back from great CONNECT, our staff conference. We came home revived, we came focused and hopeful for the future. We have exciting plans to launch spiritual discussion groups in a nearby pub/restaurant and…. I need God’s mercy and God’s grace to get over this very strong desire to pack and leave this country and go live somewhere where I can give my kids the best. I need to hear from God again that indeed we are meant to live here, in Warsaw, in the country currently holds the European Presidency, BUT has decrepit infrastructure, medical system, public school system, while having no programs for kids and seems to offer very little hope for the future.

Unpacking

After three years in Poland, in Warsaw, I am actually unpacking into the will of God. We have painted the walls in our apartment. We will be reorganizing our bedroom and kids rooms. I have bought new clothes for myself for the first time in 3 years. I feel like I am ready to start the mission. And all this because God has taken me back to the days when we were fund raising and reminded me about who He is and who He is calling me/us to be. Yes, I have been intentional about my ‘work’ here in Warsaw but now, I am also relaxed about it. It was an eye opener to hear that I might have to wait for 8 or 10 years before I see ANY results of ‘my labour’. I ceased running after projects and being obsessed with doing and talking…. Being relaxed helps me walk to the beat of His heart and see people more thru His eyes. I laugh with people more, and I cry with them more. I let people inside my walls, figuratively and literally. And amazing things are happening…. Jesus one way or another is always a part of the conversation. When I am not ‘striving’ to work FOR Him it’s easier to live my life WITH Him. I am more honest in my relationship with Him, so my relationships with people are more honest. I have arrived at the place of accepting where I am .... I have accepted “the Truth” and the “Truth” has set me free.